Saturday, January 26, 2019

Mile High (Wine) Club

United CEO Oscar Munoz was sitting in his office on the on the top floor of 77 West Wacker Drive in Chicago (probably) when he heard the worst news a CEO can hear: “We’re running out of wine.”

United had recently introduced “Polaris,” its new wildly-overhyped  ambitious Business Class product. Included was the opportunity for front-of-the-plane travelers to enjoy a “wine flight” - a set-piece sampling of three different wines at the same time.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, serving 3x the amount wine at the same time led to approximately 3x greater demand for wine than the airline expected - causing global shortages in wine stock across United’s fleet.

United, along with the rest of the airline industry, takes wine seriously. Doug Frost is one of the sommeliers retained by United to craft their wine selection - and is one of only four people in the world who is both a master sommelier and master of wine.

Airlines are massive players in the global wine market. The OneWorld alliance of airlines served 30 million bottles of wine and 2.5 million bottles of Champagne in 2017. Emirates has one of the most acclaimed wine offerings in the skies - and has spent over $780 million on wine since 2006, with over 3.8 million bottles in its cellars, and regularly serving famous French wines like Chateau Lafite on its A380’s. They often buy classic French wines directly from producers through the “en primeur” system, even buying out entire vintages and holding them to pour years or even decades later.

National airlines can play a critical role in their country’s wine industry. Quantas invests over $25 million per year in the Australian wine market, with all of the wines on its wine list coming from the Land Down Under. Airlines can also “king-make” certain wine brands by choosing to showcase them onboard - BA’s choice of Bolney Blanc de Blancs as its first white English sparkling wine in 2016 rocketed the small British winery to stardom.

Unfortunately, these fancy expensive wines go to the folks in Business and First class, and we don’t all get to sit up front. But that shouldn’t leave your lowly economy passenger high and dry. Here’s a quick guide to pairing more generic wine with the standard fare we get served in the cheap seats:

Peanuts - the classic roasted peanut, as at-home in 33B of your 737 as in row B seat 33 of Yankee stadium. Did you know not one but two of our 45 presidents were peanut farmers? The saltiness and meatiness demand something rich and full-bodied - I’d recommend going even off-dry, perhaps a nice port. Picture it like an adult peanut-butter-and-jelly.

Pretzels - since peanut allergies exist, some of the more humane airlines that aren’t trying to cause immense suffering on their planes (which seems like few of them these days) are switching to pretzels as your in-flight sustenance. Though inferior to peanuts in every way, pretzels can still pack some interesting notes - sorta-yeasty-sweet, sorta-salty, sorta-sour. So have no fear if your plane lacks legumes - pair your pretzel with an off-dry riesling. The Bavarians know what they’re doing.

KIND bar - you’re smart. A forward-thinker. Never caught unprepared. You carry a dark-chocolate-cherry-cashew KIND bar that you paid $3 at a Starbucks for once with you at all times. Well you’re in for a treat. Snag a glass of Zinfandel. The black-pepper spiciness and alcohol and leather and cherry will absolutely stand up to your bar. Also goes great with a smug sense of superiority.

Crying baby - to be clear, the implication is not that you’re eating the crying baby, just that you're trying to pair something to improve the experience. Wine has no power here. Mini-bottle of Jack Daniels.

1 comment:

  1. Agreed - Zinfandel + KIND bar is the ultimate pairing!

    To the conversation on how regulation affects the wine industry, there's another interesting point on taxes on the ground vs. in the air. Airlines are on the hook for paying taxes and duties on the wines they serve so long as they are on the ground, but once airborne on international flights - tax free.

    Delta was actually recently caught by a travel blogger for serving $4 Andre pre-departure in business class (the standard in-flight offering is a $48 Lanson Black Label Brut Champagne). See here: https://viewfromthewing.boardingarea.com/2018/04/03/deltas-4-international-business-class-sparkling-wine/?mod=article_inline

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